Joewish

Thursday, June 15, 2006

LEFT BEHIND!

I have not written for some time, however when asked by a friend of mine with long Payos this Sunday who von the game? Not being a sport enthusiastic myself I shrugged unknowingly when a second Chossid with slightly longer Payos answered him. It started a train of thoughts.

Looking around in S H it seems to be that the younger crowds of men have changed a lot from the older generation. They hang around in their “cool” waistcoats the more daring ones in short coats. They tend to have quite a bit of knowledge about movies, are well versed in names of football players & hum along with the FM radio in the car.

However on the trouser-less side (phrase borrowed from Frummer) it seems they have been left light years behind. They still schlep around in their housecoats, something not seen in any other Jewish community and still act, dress and “think” like in the 19th century. One can’t help and wonder what is it that causes that there is such a drastic difference between the genders.

In our Ghetto one is measured up according to the wife so if your wife fits into the mentioned category no matter what you do you have a free pass into schools and are a considered a Hiemesher (one of ours) provided of course that you wear a Shtriemel.

However it makes me wonder how do these two of a kind fit together? How is it possible that these men are gratified with their *** life? One has open minded views while the other probably went to London Sem, need I say more? In my view they live worlds apart, the ladies busy with the upbringing of their children while the men hang around with their boy friends and get their sex kicks by looking and keeping track of the few decent dressed women around.

Thursday, February 16, 2006

Fed up!

Whilst writing a lengthy comment on “a working girl” a thought struck me to turn the comment into my second post. Well here it is.

There is an unspoken rule between me and my wife that when eating out we don’t eat out in Kedasia restaurants or the two dairy restaurants that S H citizens tend to populate. As we have no desire to meet Stamford Hillers when spending a romantic evening together.

Picture it you are sitting with your spouse in the “KOSHARA” restaurant a group of over sized ladies walk in with their massive hand bags noisily taking their seats. Feel the slight panic in the air whilst they tussle with their choices. Then squirm in your seat whilst each one of them takes a turn checking you out, this proves quite difficult for the ones seating with their back to you, however after much neck craning it dies down to just a few hushed whispers across the table.

Than you have the enlightened couples who are adventures enough to go out with their own spouse. Which by the way is no small deal, they are sitting across someone of the opposite sex. However instead of indulging in some small talk with their better half, most of their time is as well spent checking out every Hiemeshe guy is and of course making sure he knows his family tree as well.

Kashrus wise I don’t have any problem eating out in restaurants which are under beis din supervision. Apparently beis din are much more stringent with Mashgichim, as any restaurant under their supervision must have a full time Mashgiach employed on the premises. Whilst in Keddasia the Mashgichim allegedly pop in once in a blue moon.
However for some reason I will not buy beis din meat for use at home. Although I can’t give good reason for my view, perhaps I see it as something which do out of my home, like watching TV in hotel for example, whilst I would not have one at home. Or perhaps it’s just that instinct buried deep down by growing up in S H that beis din is trief?

Monday, February 13, 2006

Mr. & Mrs. Smith?

After hanging around for around a year in the Orthodox Blog scene, acting sometimes as the Devils Advocate on behalf of the Chassidim and at times joining the masses in criticizing them. From time to time I wonder, should I take up having Blog of my own? As I received most of my education in S H one of the things that always kept me back, was my English grammar or rather lack of it. (Therefore you all have my apologies in advance)

However after a friend approached me for advice on a subject which has been bothering him, I decided to take the plunge.

A close relative of his is married to a guy who to outsiders comes across as a nice guy, however to his wife is total control freak and demands every thing to go in his way. Initially his reaction was that plenty of husbands behave in that manner perhaps in order to satisfy their manly ego. However after witnessing some extreme behaviour played out before him, it dawned on him that the problem is quite serious.

The lady in question has become a shadow of her former self and seems to have lost her self confidence, as when it comes to social & family gatherings she hardly manages to get a word in, before he interrupts her and all decisions in their domestic life are made entirely by him.

His question was should he approach her and advice her that she should not put up with this behaviour and demand that he [her husband] start treating her in a decent manner or perhaps seek guidance from a marriage counsellor?

My advice was as difficult as it is to see a close relative being abused verbally, steer away and don’t interfere as perhaps beneath the sluggish bullets they have a deep love for each other. Mixing in and giving advice might have the reverse affect as she will most probably claim nothing is wrong and go back to her husband & will generate a rift in the family.

Being no expert in marital problems I would like to ask you readers your opinion on the matter.